Yet here we were, my wife and I, on the receiving end of such a gift. Tears were inevitable but also inadequate.

I was in my first year of seminary, and we were way over our head. Shortly before the start of the Fall semester, my car broke down in the worst possible way. I needed a new engine. $2200 that I simply did not possess. We borrowed the money, uncertain how we would repay it.

Two months later, I had a frightening episode of heart palpitations after dinner one night. Fortunately, a series of medical tests revealed that I was basically healthy (just a little bit overstressed). Unfortunately, my cheap insurance plan didn't cover any of the medical costs. Another $5000 we didn't have.

I'll never forget the feeling of absolute helplessness. Three months into my ministry training and we were financially sunk. I asked a couple of friends for prayer.

About a week later, one of the pastors at my church invited Shannon and me to breakfast. He said he just wanted to encourage us and pray for us. As we were leaving, he handed me the envelope.

"A few people heard about your needs. They got together and decided to help you out. They want to remain anonymous, so they sent me to deliver this gift to you."

We waited until we got to the car and opened the envelope. Inside was several thousand dollars in cash. In fact, it was enough to cover the gap between what we had and what we needed. (Actually we were $15 short, but that only added to the hilarious joy of the moment).

I cried, but my tears were only partly about the money. I cried because I knew grace when I saw it, a grace that seemed to mirror the One Wonderful Act of Grace so long ago.

It was a gift I could not have earned, and one I certainly could not repay. They didn't give me the money because I deserved it -- to be honest, we had only attended the church for a few months, and we hardly knew the congregation. They gave because of grace, because they had received and they felt compelled to give. They didn't do it expecting a special reward, a pat on the back, or a chance to repay God. They did it because Jesus was in them. They loved because He loved.

That's what grace means, by the way. Anything you have to earn isn't grace. Anything you're expected to repay isn't grace. If you have to prove you're worthy of it, it is definitely not grace. Grace is a gift. It's free. It's the payment of our debt by the only One who is qualified to pay it. And it's in short supply, even among those who claim the name Christian.

I want to live and breathe and preach and give away grace. It was the mission of Jesus' life, the reason He died and rose again. God, let it be my mission as well.

If you haven't done so, enter your email address below to subscribe. You'll receive these posts in your email inbox: 

For Christian students, I think it's an especially critical moment. Will you set your priorities based on God's values or the world's values? Will you approach money, relationships, work, and the spiritual life in a way that honors Jesus? Too many graduates find themselves wandering around aimlessly. After ten or twenty years, many look back and are forced to admit that their life choices don't really match the priorities they say they have.

For those of you graduating this month, here are a few steps to help you start your post-college life well: 

1. Determine your priorities. What's important to you? Do you want to invest your life in sharing the Gospel? In knowing Jesus well? If you're married, do you want your family to reflect God's values? Most people fail to live meaningfully because they fail to consider their priorities. Decide now what matters to you -- who do you want to be and what do you intend to invest your life in? Once you know what matters, begin arranging your time and energy around those priorities.

2. Find a church quickly. You cannot walk with the Lord in isolation. We all need encouragement and support, and too often I see college graduates hop from church to church for years without really connecting with one. You won't find a perfect church, and you might not find one as "good" as the one you attended in college. That's alright. Just find a place where they preach the gospel, believe the Word of God, and provide opportunities for you to serve and to grow. Find one within 2-3 months of graduation, and commit to it. If church doesn't quickly become a part of your routine, it will become more and more difficult to fit it into your schedule.

3. Be careful with your money. Some of you will be on a very tight budget, while others will have more money than they've ever seen before. Either way, live below your means. Don't try to match your parents' lifestyle with your first house or car. Leave some room to save, and more importantly, to give. If you are married and both of you work, live on one salary if possible. Doing so will allow you flexibility if and when you have children. If you are single, live cheap and set aside as much money as you can. Don't allow money to become a barrier to following God wherever He leads you.

4. Be careful with your time. Time is a more valuable resource than money. You can always make more money, but you can never make more time. Spend your limited free time engaged in meaningful activities. It's quite easy to fall into a pattern of simply surfing Facebook or watching television with every spare moment. Don't waste your time away. Use your evenings and weekends to serve others, participate at your church, spend time with other people, read, learn, and grow in your walk with the Lord. Use your 20s well.

5. Invest in other people for God's glory. In the final analysis, your life will be evaluated by your impact on other people. Will you take the time to love others, to tell them about Jesus, and to help them know Him better? Will you leave a legacy of love and faithfulness to Jesus, at home and at work and at church and in your community? People matter because people will last forever. You have a limited window of opportunity to influence others for eternity.

If you just graduated, congratulations! I hope and pray that your life will be effective and purposeful, that you will reflect God's values and know Him more and more each day. Hopefully the ideas above will give you a good start.

If you are a recent graduate, what other advice would you give to those starting their post-college life? 

If you haven't done so yet, enter your email address below to subscribe: 

I also believe strongly in our church's ministry to college students, which is why I've given the past decade of my life to it. I don't see my new role as a complete departure from college ministry, but instead as a way of furthering the church's ministry to students around the world.

Some of my readers might be unfamiliar with Grace's college ministry, so I thought I'd use this week's post to share a short video that highlights what we do. If you're interested in learning more, go to our website at www.grace-bible.org.

Impact The World For Christ - College from Grace Bible Church on Vimeo.

If you haven't done so yet, enter your email address to subscribe to new posts: 

I recently ran across a piece titled, "An Open Letter to the Church from My Generation," written by a college student in South Dakota. Dannika Nash, the writer of the letter, says she speaks for your entire generation in rejecting the traditional church because of its stance toward homosexuality. Perhaps her claim is correct, but for some reason I doubt it. It just seems unlikely that one young woman from South Dakota represents the views of 80 million people.

Nonetheless, Ms. Nash clearly struck a nerve. More than 10,000 people shared her letter on Facebook and Twitter. At the very least, she represents a significant minority of your generation. Many of you are tired of the ongoing culture war over homosexuality. You have friends in pain, people who feel rejected by the Church (and consequently by God), and you want to ease their suffering. You're tired of voices on both sides of the issue shouting at one another, yet making little progress in truly understanding one another.

I wonder if you would be surprised to find that many evangelical pastors and leaders are similarly dismayed by the anger and hostility surrounding this issue? Most of us aren't eager to go to war over moral, political, or cultural issues, when our primary purpose is to make disciples of Jesus.

Ms. Nash would certainly classify my church and its pastors as deeply conservative. We hold traditional views when it comes to the Bible, the death and resurrection of Jesus, and yes, on issues of marriage and sexuality. When we select leaders, we expect them to act in keeping with biblical standards of integrity in every area of their lives, including the sexual area. We occasionally preach to our own congregation about homosexuality and other issues of sexual morality, because we recognize that sexual sin is a huge stumbling block for those trying to follow Christ.

However, our church exists to make disciples of Jesus, not to make people polite, nice, good, or socially acceptable. Most of the evangelicals I know would agree with that statement. The core of our message is that Jesus died and rose again to save sinners, and we are all sinners. Sin is an equal opportunity killer, and grace is an equal opportunity savior.

For that reason, it troubles me that the first question Millennials (and others) often ask me about my church is how we feel about homosexuality or gay marriage. I'm certainly not a celebrity pastor, but reporters occasionally call us for quotes. Without fail, they want to talk about homosexuality -- do we hate homosexuals, do we really think the Bible is against them, how often do we preach sermons on the topic, etc. I've decided I simply can't answer those questions apart from a broader discussion about Jesus and the gospel. I do not want to participate in an argument about morality without a discussion of the saving grace of Jesus Christ. It's unproductive at best, and dangerous at worst. Usually that means the reporter in question finds somebody else to provide a quote, somebody who will simply condemn homosexuals in stark terms without referencing the gospel. If you've ever wondered why the Christians quoted in the media seem to be of the strident and angry variety, that's why.

I don't represent all evangelicals, or all traditional pastors, or "all" of any group. However, I know that my church and many others want the chance to talk to your generation about Jesus. Yes, we'll talk to you about homosexuality if you insist, but we'd much rather talk about Jesus first. We would rather talk about sexual morality in the context of discipleship, for those who are already committed to Jesus and His church.

If you are a Millennial who finds yourself suspicious of the traditional church, we would like to know you and to talk with you. I wonder if you would be willing to first consider Jesus Himself before asking me about homosexuality? What if knowing Jesus and believing that He freely offers eternal life ends up changing everything for you? In the final analysis, I mostly want you to develop a living and active relationship with God. I trust that once you meet Jesus, His Spirit will begin to work on those areas of your life that seem so impossible to change. Why make a decision at the age of 20 that you must always act, believe, and think just as you do now? Why refuse to entertain the possibility that a close encounter with God might dramatically alter your plans, your activities, and your perception of who you are?

If you trust Jesus, you'll find that becoming more like Him is a life-long process, one that is simultaneously encouraging, exciting, and difficult. There are peaks and valleys along the way, and there are moments where you would rather not submit to what He's doing in your heart. Every single Christian struggles with doubt and sin. Those who grow deeply with Jesus agree to keep seeking change, even though we sometimes resist the plans of the One transforming us. We don't get to decide what God does in our hearts before He begins the process. If we tell Him that certain areas are off-limits, we'll be sorely disappointed when He starts tinkering around in those areas.

So here's my question: Would you be willing to consider Jesus apart from your preconceptions? You might think the church is wrong about homosexuality. Your pastor might misunderstand you or struggle to help you. But Jesus fully understands you, and I think His Spirit is most active among His people in the church. You might think that you'll find your own way spiritually, apart from faithful friends in the church, but the Bible and my own experience both suggest that spiritual growth is a team activity.

If you've been hurt at church in the past, I'd like to suggest that you try again. I'm not saying that you should search for a church that endorses everything you do and think -- that's not a church, that's a fan club. Instead, look for a place where the pastors and the people are fiercely committed to the grace of God in Jesus Christ. Look for a place where they agree to help you, where they provide accountability and correction in a context of grace. Then dive in and seek help to grow closer to Jesus, even if it hurts at first, and even if you don't agree with everything.

You just might find that Jesus, through the mercy and love of His people, changes everything.

If you haven't done so yet, enter your email address below to subscribe: 

Just a few thoughts (this is adapted from a post I wrote a few years ago after the death of Osama bin Laden):

Wicked men and women deserve punishment, and God loves justice (Isaiah 61:8; Ps 73:18-20). You don't have to read the Bible for long before you recognize a clear pattern -- God will decisively judge the wicked. If they are not judged now, then they will be judged in eternity. It is appropriate to rejoice that justice has been done (Psalm 58:10-11). Justice ultimately means freedom from the effects of wickedness and sin -- those who would deny the ultimate destruction of the wicked also unwittingly deny the final salvation of the righteous.

The capture of these criminals provides a limited but real sense of justice for the people who lost friends and family members, or who were permanently damaged physically or psychologically through his violence.

Governments are established, in part, as God's (imperfect) agents of justice (Romans 13:3-4). At their best, human governments act as enforcers of God's will to punish evil-doers and reward righteous people. However, governments are established and run by people, so they are always imperfect. As hard as it is to believe, it's possible that my own government could make a mistake in its execution of justice. Just because God gave the government the authority to punish evildoers does not mean that the government always does it correctly.

The justice effected by human governments will never be enough. We await a final and decisive judgment (Revelation 19-22). The justice brought about through human means may temporarily appease our need for justice, but will not fully satisfy it. For that reason, human justice can even make us grieve because it reminds us of how much remains to be done. How many really believe that the death or imprisonment of the bombers constitutes decisive judgment on all acts of terrorism and violence?

Finally, God does not delight in the destruction of the wicked, so neither should we (Ezekiel 33:11). Even as we rejoice in the accomplishment of limited justice, we recognize that a tragedy has occurred. Two men made in God's image found themselves in a position worthy of severe judgment, and for one of them that judgment led to his death. We grieve that we live in a world where tragedies like this one occur all too frequently. We grieve for those who run toward violence and destruction rather than toward the saving mercy of Jesus Christ. And we pray for every man and woman to know Jesus and find forgiveness.

We also pray that we can be vessels of God's mercy, to extend His grace to the next potential Boston bomber before justice has to be served yet again.

If you haven't subscribed yet, enter your email address below or "like" the Facebook page on the side bar: 

Most of the posts on Facebook have focused on the news media's lack of interest in the case, and the national discussion has centered around whether the media has a bias against reporting stories like this.

While the question of media bias is interesting, I think the deeper question is, "How could something like this go on for so long in a 'civilized' society?" What are the factors that lead a person to devalue human life to the point of cutting the spinal cords of healthy, live infants? And what kind of society allows it to continue unchecked for years and years, despite repeated warnings and complaints?

The real issue at the heart of the Gosnell story is that we lack a sufficient understanding of what it means to be made in the image of God. In other words, the problem is primarily theological and spiritual. If we evangelicals lose sight of that, our responses will be short-lived and ineffective. In other words, we cannot simply attack the political and governmental issue of abortion without addressing a major deficiency in our own understanding of humanity itself.

Here's the heart of the matter: If we fail to understand what it is to be made in God's image, we will assign value to people using terribly inaccurate methods of accounting. Gosnell killed infants because he believed that they were less valuable than other people. That's why he can confidently claim to be a "good person," despite ample evidence to the contrary. I can almost guarantee that Gosnell's defense will argue that he was doing the world a service by providing a way for young women to live in freedom and autonomy, without the burden of caring for unwanted infants. Because the infant is small and helpless, and can't exert its own opinion, it's deemed less valuable than bigger and smarter people. Gosnell assigned value to people based upon their abilities.

A biblical understanding of the image of God protects us against devaluing those who are physically weaker, less intelligent, or who wield less power in our society. Every human being bears God's image, and His image is not tied to our mental or physical abilities. God's image is not a matter of how smart or strong we are. Once we buy into the lie that some people are more inherently valuable to others, then we will inevitably drift toward abusing (or at least neglecting) those who are most in need of our protection. That theological deficiency is actually at the heart of the abortion debate, and as Christians we often forget that.

The image of God is best understood in terms of our potential rather than our current abilities. Every person, regardless of size, race, mental capacity, or even moral rectitude, has the potential to relate to God and to represent Him. Unlike the animals, our bodies and minds and spirits were designed for perfection, a perfection that has been temporarily defaced. For those who know Christ, that perfection will one day be restored. We will literally shine with the glory of God (Daniel 12:3). We will perfectly relate to Him without any hint of sin (1 Corinthians 13:12). We will finally demonstrate what it means to be made in God's image.

Every single person, from the unformed infant to the well-educated professional, possesses the image of God. Because of that fact, we are called to treat each person with love and respect. Because of that fact, we are obligated to protect the weakest among us, those who possess the image of God but who are prone to abuse from those who don't recognize it.

If we fail to understand and teach about God's image, then our lives won't accurately reflect the standards of God's love and holiness. It's not only the unborn and newly-born who need our protection, although they certainly need it. We're called to protect everybody the world sees as unimportant or less valuable. If we can teach that concept in our families and our churches and our communities, then we have a much better chance of making a real difference in the lives of those around us. We have a much better chance of reducing the number of people who feel their only option is to go to a place like Gosnell's terrible death clinic. More importantly, we have a better shot at communicating the Gospel, which is the only way to fix our broken image.

Everybody you know, even those you find irritating or annoying or stupid or weak, is made in God's image. It's a broken image, yes, but as Christians we carry with us the promise of redemption and restoration. So let's shine like the stars we are, created to show God's love and glory to a lost world.

If you haven't done so yet, enter your email address to subscribe (or "like" the Facebook page on the sidebar): 

For Christians, I think the issue of paying taxes can be especially complicated. On the one hand, we're aware that our tax money supports programs that we find morally or spiritually objectionable. (Interestingly enough, Texas A&M students recently fought over this very issue, with a group of Christian students attempting to opt out of paying the portion of their fees that will go to support an LGBT resource center). On the other hand, Christians can't help but notice Jesus' admonition to "give to Caesar what is Caesar's" (Matthew 22:21). In the past few weeks, I've even seen this passage used as a way of telling people they shouldn't claim any deductions or exemptions or credits on their tax returns!

What did Jesus mean when He said to "give to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's"? I think the passage is more shocking than we often realize. The "give to Caesar" concept is usually repeated to mean that we should simply pay our taxes, but Jesus' broader point is sometimes missed.

Jesus was saying something quite radical. Here's the most concise way I can think of to explain his point: While the government has the right to take your money, they have no real claim on you. Why? Because God owns you -- He owns everything about you, including your body, your time, your mind, your heart, your relationships, and yes, your money!

In the grand scheme of things, the government has two strings they can pull: money and force. They can take your money: like Jesus said, they printed it, and they can take it away. They can also exercise force: they can jail you or (in extreme cases) kill you (see Romans 13). Now I realize that those powers can seem quite significant to you and me. After all, without money we can't eat. And the power to kill is an awesome power indeed.

Nonetheless, Jesus tells us that those powers are temporary and very limited. There's a reason Jesus said not to fear those who can kill the body but who have no power over the soul (Matthew 10:28). The government cannot really affect anything of eternal value! God has control over everything, and he's temporarily allowed the ruling authorities to have a very limited influence in the affairs of the world. (As a side note, that's why the government can't really define marriage any more than they can define the number of scales that belong on a fish. All they can do is offer money or take money from particular groups of people. The definition of marriage is well outside of their jurisdiction).

Too often we assume that the government's decisions and laws have a dramatic effect on our ability to follow Christ or to practice our faith. We worry that if we pay too much in taxes, or if they take our money for causes we disagree with, that we will no longer be free for worship or discipleship. Believe me when I tell you that the government of Caesar was much, much worse than our own. Yet Jesus wasn't worried. He knew where true power resided.

So how should we approach tax season, then? First, don't panic or become angry. Yes, they can take our money. They will use it however they please. In a representative form of government like our own, we can express our disagreement and vote for new representatives. But in the final analysis, the government doesn't own us. God owns us. When we become flustered or upset about taxes, it communicates that we have lost sight of what is truly valuable. (And I'm preaching to myself as much as to anybody else -- my own tax return caused me one or two moments of despair this year).

Second, pay the taxes. That doesn't mean that we can't claim exemptions and deductions, as long as they are legal. However, we ought to pay what we owe without undue grumbling or complaining. Again, let's try to keep things in perspective.

Third, give to God what is God's. To put it plainly, everything belongs to God. Our bodies. Our minds. Our houses. Our money. Our churches. Our families. Everything. Our tax bill has no effect on our ability to trust God and follow Him. If we think it does, we've lost sight of His power. Once the government taxes us, they are held responsible before God for how the money is spent. So pay the taxes and then focus on what God has called us to do. Share the Gospel, study His Word, pray, give, care for the weak and needy, and love God. No matter what strings the government pulls, they cannot stop us from following God. If you want a great illustration of people who followed God faithfully in the midst of governmental barriers and persecution, read the book of Acts. It's hard to read that book and conclude that the government has any real power over matters of eternity.

In summary, we don't need to be threatened by this world's kingdoms, since God's kingdom trumps them all. He owns us and everything about us. Let that be our focus as we approach April 15th this year.

I'd love to hear from you: How do you approach tax season? Do you agree with my assessment or disagree? 

If you haven't done so yet, enter your email address below to subscribe: 

Special thanks to Masterpiece Conference 2013 whose speakers Leigh Kohler (quoted) and Donna Stuart helped inspire this post.

If you’ve seen the YouTube video Pep Talk from Kid President, you know just how cute that kid is.  My favorite line is “It’s like that dude Journey said, “Don’t stop believing” …unless your dream is stupid, then get another dream!”  The video leaves you with the charge to give the world a reason to dance because everyone has the ability to do or be something awesome.  What is there not to love about that video?  It’s our generation’s version of the American dream. We all want to make the world a better place, regardless of if you love Jesus or not.  We tell our children they can be anything they want.  Dozens of reality TV shows are created so ordinary people can have a shot at reaching their dream of becoming the world’s best chef, model, singer, dancer, and so on.

Don’t get me wrong- I’m a dreamer if there ever was one!  I love how Eph 3:20 states that God “is able do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think.” I think like any good father, God wants to see our dreams come to fruition.  It doesn’t always feel that way, though.  I have recently felt like I am living in the realm of all things ordinary.  The great things I want to happen seem to be outside of my grasp. There are times when it seems like the Lord is doing the exact opposite of the good dream that I’m wanting.  I repeat: GOOD dreams – not sinful, selfish ones- but ones that will bring Him glory or grow me in my walk with Him or make a difference in the world! So when those ‘closed doors’ come, it hurts.

People often say once you’re willing to let something go, then God will let you truly have it.  The problem with that is you’re essentially willing to do anything to keep whatever ‘it’ is above all else, even if that means “letting it go.”  We find a holy way to preserve our idols. The truth of it all is that the Lord wants us to let everything go-even our best-intentioned dreams for His glory- in surrender to wherever He wants us.

I don’t know what your specific dream is, or what the weight of waiting feels like.  Maybe your dream is to raise a godly family, but you aren’t even dating someone.  Maybe it’s to end human trafficking, but you’re currently stuck having to study for a geology exam. Maybe your dream is to be part of the bigger solution, but you don’t know how your meager efforts will ever truly add up.

I’ve been there. Some days I am still there.  I’ve presented open hands before the Lord just to close them again.  What the Lord has been patiently teaching me is that our dreams and passions are not separate from our walks with God.  And they can never be accomplished without Him. We’re often tempted to seek God so that our dreams can be fulfilled. How backwards that is!  We seek God first. We become a living sacrifice.  We walk by His Spirit.  He wants our obedience and devotion more than He wants our great conquests against evil in His name. You see, our intimacy with the Lord will always have a direct correlation to the impact we have on others.  He wants us to love Him and love others, right where He has us at this very moment.  And I’m pretty sure that if the God of the universe is going to use us in some specific way, He knows where to find us.

So what do we do today? For we who have accepted Christ as Savior, we can choose to walk by His Spirit.  We can take His hand and let Him be our guide. We die to self by realizing that there our lesser dreams often have to die. They may be postponed, or they may never happen in the way we think they’re going to pan out.  I have had dreams of working for specific ministries, or places I would live in my twenties, or even men I thought I’d marry. These weren’t little dreams, but they were lesser dreams compared to God’s grand dream for my life. Prayer and dependence align us with God’s grand dream for our lives.  I love what Leigh Kohler stated so beautifully, “We are prideful to think we can change the world without our faces on the floor.” True joy is found right where He has us in this exact phase of life. He wants us to be a part of carrying out His ultimate dream- that all may come to the knowledge of grace found in Christ alone.

If you haven't done so yet, enter your email address below to subscribe: 

Easter is my favorite holiday. I think Christmas is great and I love celebrating the Incarnation of Christ, remembering his entrance into the world. I enjoy the extended time with family and the rest from work.

But Easter is about resurrection. It's about New Life. I wake up on Easter morning and feel joyful to the point of bursting, because of what has happened and what is to come.

We all know what happened -- some 2000 years ago a few women went to Jesus's tomb and found it empty. It was an earth-shaking, shiny angel, rolled stone, mass chaos type of day. Nothing like this had happened before. Ever.

But we often forget that this will happen again.

Sometimes we read 1 Corinthians 15 and say, "The resurrection of Christ was important -- it's the foundation of our faith. It proves that He is God and that His sacrifice for our sin was accepted and sufficient."

That's true and right and wonderful. But that's not the main point of the passage.

The main point is that Jesus's resurrection ensures that it will happen again -- those who trust in Him will rise from the dead. Not as disembodied spirits, but as glorified and real bodies. People who can touch and be touched, who are truly and fully alive, body and spirit. The way we should be. People who live without fear, sickness, death, pain, sadness, or any of the other troubles that plague us now.

So on Easter, I do think about 1 Corinthians 15, but I've begun reading a different passage as well.

Revelation 21 - 22 describes a new earth, a new heaven, and perfect, renewed, living people. The resurrection of Christ was only the beginning, the "firstfruits" of resurrection and new life. Jesus's resurrection wasn't just a great event way back then. It's an event with earth-shaking, eternal, life-renewing consequences now and in the future.

Because He arose, we will rise. Because He arose, the earth will be re-made and renewed. Because He arose, we wake up on Easter morning and don't merely celebrate, we anticipate. Our redemption has occurred, but our redemption is still to come.

One day my tomb and your tomb will be empty as well. All will be right, all will be renewed, and life will last forever.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and earth had ceased to exist, and the sea existed no more. And I saw the holy city – the new Jerusalem – descending out of heaven from God, made ready like a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying: “Look! The residence of God is among human beings. He will live among them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death will not exist any more – or mourning, or crying, or pain, for the former things have ceased to exist.” And the one seated on the throne said: “Look! I am making all things new!” Then he said to me, “Write it down, because these words are reliable and true.” He also said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the one who is thirsty I will give water free of charge from the spring of the water of life. (Revelation 21:1-6, NET)

Sometimes I doubt.

That might be surprising, even disconcerting, to some. Is it normal for a Christian to doubt what he believes? Is it alright for a pastor to have doubts?

I used to ask myself the same questions and wonder what was wrong with me -- why couldn't I attain absolute certainty about matters of the faith? Yet the more I've studied the Bible and talked with mature Christians, I've come to recognize that faith seldom (if ever) exists without a degree of doubt. To take it a step further, most people who are absolutely certain of everything haven't really wrestled deeply with the bigger questions of life. Faith is not the same thing as certainty. Faith, by its very nature, is trusting in God even when we cannot attain certainty -- I think this is the key point of Hebrews 11. We believe what we do not see. If we saw everything clearly, we would no longer have any reason to trust in the unseen.

Absolute certainty about anything is an illusion. Why? Because we are finite creatures. Whether we're talking about scientific discovery or spiritual truth, my limited point of view necessarily means that there will be a bit of doubt lingering around the margins of my faith. (That's why doubt is not merely a part of the Christian experience, but a part of the human experience.)

Most of us freak out when we experience doubt, and as a result I think we often miss one of its greatest benefits: Doubt is often a conduit for the grace of God. Doubt inherently places us in a position of helplessness and need. We cannot see everything, we cannot understand the things we think we do see, so we are utterly dependent upon the wisdom and kindness of God.

When James tells us that the doubting person will not receive anything from God, I don't think he means that absolute certainty is required when we approach the Father in prayer. I think he means quite the opposite, in fact. The word for "doubt" in the Greek language carries the idea of "double-mindedness." I think James is telling us this: The person who approaches God for wisdom, yet thinks he already understands everything with certainty, isn't truly inclined to listen to what God has to say. He's curious about God's wisdom, but isn't desperate for it. As a result, he doesn't receive wisdom. Wisdom comes to those who approach God single-mindedly, asking Him to provide what we do not possess.

When Peter experienced his own bouts with doubt (see, for example, Matthew 14:22-34), they became stunning opportunities for the grace of Jesus to pour into his life. True, Jesus chastised Peter for his doubt, but it was sinking into the water that caused Peter to cry, "Lord, save me!" Only by sinking did he learn to cry out to the one who could pull him out. Peter had to learn faith through the troubling lens of doubt and fear, and Jesus knew that. The bold Peter we see on the day of Pentecost (Acts 2) would not have existed were it not for the lessons he learned on the water, and the pain he experienced when he denied His Savior.

I've learned to view doubt as a frustrating but necessary element of the Christian life. Until we see Jesus face to face, we will have to operate by faith rather than certainty. In the meanwhile, God uses our limitations and our doubt to reshape us. Through the process of wondering and questioning and asking God for the wisdom we lack, we slowly begin to grow in our own faith. Seeing God move in our lives despite our doubt and fear encourages us to take another step closer to Him.

To put it simply, doubt lets God's grace come in. That's true, if we view doubt as a renewed opportunity to trust Him. On the other hand, if we push away the doubt with our own reasoning, our own intelligence, and a sense of arrogant self-sufficiency, then we will not find the faith we're seeking. Nor will we find certainty. Instead, we'll become proud and distant from God. It's only by acknowledging the doubt and bringing it to the feet of our all-knowing God that we can grow. Wisdom isn't found in certainty, but in a growing understanding of our own limitations and our utter and absolute need of God's wisdom.

So what do you think? Is doubt inappropriate for Christians? Do you ever struggle with it? How do you handle it? 

If you haven't done so yet, enter your email address to subscribe to new posts: