Can't we all just get along? Reducing and Resolving Conflict

Blake Jennings

Grace Bible Church Southwood

“Can't we all just get along?”

Reducing and Resolving Conflict

Philippians 4:2-3

Conflict comes naturally to the human race. Whether in our marriages, with our parents, with friends, neighbors, or coworkers, we frequently find ourselves in conflict with others. And that conflict always causes pain and stress. So how do we avoid conflict with others? And when conflict does occur, how do we resolve it quickly and as painlessly as possible? In this short but rich passage Paul lays out seven principles for reducing and resolving conflict; principles that will help us find greater peace with one another and greater effectiveness in this life for the Lord.

I. Reduce: How to Avoid Conflict

1. Anticipate Attack

2. Adopt Christ’s Humble Attitude

1 Corinthians 6:5-8
Is it so, that there is not among you one wise man who will be able to decide between his brethren, but brother goes to law with brother, and that before unbelievers? Actually, then, it is already a defeat for you, that you have lawsuits with one another. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded? On the contrary, you yourselves wrong and defraud. You do this even to your brethren.

Proverbs 19:11
A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.

3. Unite to Share the Gospel

4. Fix your Hope on Heaven

James 4:1-2
What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel.

II. Resolve: How to Heal Conflict

1. Initiate Regardless of Blame

– Choose to forgive

Ephesians 4:32
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

– Choose to forget

Isaiah 43:25
“I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, And I will not remember your sins.”

– Ask for forgiveness

BUT:

– Deep hurts take time and counsel

– Forgive & forget does not equal trust

2. When Necessary, Seek Help

a. A believer of proven maturity

b. Neutral – won’t take sides

Proverbs 18:17
The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him.

c. Will maintain confidentiality

Proverbs 11:13
A gossip betrays a confidence,

but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.

3. Don’t Spread the Conflict

– Don’t talk about a conflict you’re in

– Don’t talk about the conflicts of others

Proverbs 20:19
A gossip betrays a confidence;

so avoid a man who talks too much.

REDUCE – How to Avoid Conflict