Brian Fisher
Grace Bible Church
“Reconciled... For the Sake of Christ”
Philippians 4:1-3
Reconciliation is what God is all about. When His people fail to resolve conflict, the world will not see Jesus. Rather than being known as followers of Christ by our love, we will look just like everyone else. However, when we forgive and restore our relationships, we are personally blessed, and those who are alienated from God receive a beautiful picture of the forgiveness that all can receive through Christ. Therefore...forgive one another, stop demanding payment, live for the reputation of Christ and not the defense of your own rights!
● How can we reduce the number and intensity of conflicts in our lives?
● How can we resolve conflict and restore peace in our relationships?
I. Reducing conflict
A. Anticipate attack
1. Proven leaders in the church; (συναθλέω; “to contend/struggle alongside of”) for the gospel. Otherwise mature, godly servants.
2. Anyone can become sidelined by conflict; everyone will be attacked
3. If unbelievers know we are followers of Christ by our love for one another, then priority #1 for Satan is to stifle that love).
B. Adopt the attitude of Christ – 4:2 (“harmony”)
1. phroneo (10x) - Be of one mind – 2:2 (2x)
Would you rather be known as a peacemaker, or as a person who is always at the center of conflict? Someone who is difficult to offend and quick to forgive and resolve conflict; or someone who is super-sensitive and slow to forgive?
Recommended Book: The Peacemaker by Ken Sande
2. Become LIKE Christ in all things – 2:5-11
▪ Surrender of rights
▪ Prov 19:11 – mark of maturity to overlook a matter
▪ 1 Cor 6:1-8 – this requires sacrifice – I may have a genuine legal right to sue. Reputation of Christ is more important.
Conflict is inevitable in a fallen world. How we resolve it will have an enormous influence on our testimony for Christ.
II. Resolving conflict and restoring peace
A. Rehearse your common ground – 4:1-2, 4
1. Shared Savior – “in the Lord”; shared identity
2. Shared forgiveness – Eph. 4:31-32; Col. 3:12-13
3. Shared destiny; 3:20-21; 4:3 (book of life)
▪ James 4:1-3 – when our hope is in the pleasures of this life, it inevitably leads to conflict with one another
4. Shared mission – 1:27; beginning of exhortation
B. Initiate Resolution – 4:2
1. Paul doesn’t place blame
2. Unusual Greek grammar Greek, repeats verb in v2 (“I urge”). It doesn’t matter who started it, both are responsible to initiate reconciliation.
3. So far as it depends upon you, be at peace
4. Empathy is a skill; a muscle that can grow. Born narcissists.
5. Stressful times; “nothing counts”
C. Keep it to yourself.
1. The situation in 4:2-3 is already a failure because everyone knows about it. It’s very rare that Paul “names names”; situation well known and serious. If Euodia & Syntyche had kept their conflict private as they worked towards resolution, they wouldn’t have caused the damage they have nor warrant the apostolic rebuke they get. Forever recorded in the Bible because they couldn’t resolve their conflict.
2. People take sides.
3. James calls the tongue a fire. The more it spreads the harder to resolve.
4. When you hear about a conflict
a. Ask person to stop talking. I would rather not know about this.
b. Prov 20:19 – do not associate with someone who reveals secrets!
5. Be a gossip cul-de-sac; Proverbs 17:9
6. If the offense is against you, drop it. Prov. 19:11
7. Some offenses cannot be dropped, so go directly to the person.
D. Practice forgiveness – Is. 43:25
1. Is. 43:25; 1 Cor 13:5 (love does not take into account a wrong suffered); choose not to demand retribution, even in my mind. Replace that thought; God will protect me; God has forgiven me. Not EVENT but LIFESTYLE
2. If you are angry right now, this sounds silly to you. Bent on punishing the other person. Nothing will work. You are right.
3. Recommended Book: Same Kind of Different as Me by Ron Hall & Denver Moore
Deep wounds heal slowly. Adultery. Abuse. Leave room for God’s justice. Don’t exact it over and over in your mind. Trust God to use evil for good.
Forgiving and restoring trust are not the same thing
Ex – share a deep need; person tells others.
Leave the door open for person to regain some trust
E. When Necessary, Seek Help – 4:3
1. Paul is intervening. Gotten to that level. Urges another Christian to help as well. “I ASK you (humble petition), HELP these women.”
2. Believer; not an unbeliever (1 Cor 6:1-6)
3. Of proven maturity – 4:3 (genuine companion; Silas, Luke? Church knows who he is talking about because he is proven!)
4. Unbiased; will be able to hear both sides of the issue (Prov 18:17)
▪ talk to those who will back us up – support us vs them
5. Confidential, trustworthy (Prov 11:12-13)
▪ the ability to keep a secret is a mark of maturity.
Application
In any of my relationships…
▪ Do I need to grant forgiveness to someone for Christ’s sake?
▪ Do I need to seek forgiveness for Christ’s sake?
▪ Do I need to choose to honor Christ rather than guard my own rights?