Brian Fisher
Grace Bible Church
“Marriage Matters”
Malachi 2: 10-16
Why does God care so much about our marriages?
This is a difficult and painful massage for many. Probably everyone has been affected by divorce in some manner. Some were raised in homes of divorced parents. Some have been victims of divorce, some have caused a divorce. The fact that it is such a sensitive issue demonstrates why we need to talk about it in church. God speaks to the most important issues in our lives.
I. The specific problems in Malachi’s day
A. Marriage of believer to unbeliever (v11-12)
1. Explanation – intermarriage to women who worshipped foreign gods brought syncretism and idolatry
Neh. 13:23-24 – children couldn’t speak the language
“deal treacherously” – verb repeated 5 times; “to act falsely, to be faithless, to break faith” (NICOT)
Breaking faith with me
2. Application today:
• Do not marry an unbeliever - 2 Cor 6:14-15
Just say “no” to missionary dating!
• Do not marry an unfaithful believer
Take, “I’ll change him later” off the table!
• Don’t marry someone who does not share your values
• If you are dating either of the above, break up ASAP!
• Caveat: if you are already married to an unbeliever, don’t divorce – 1 Cor. 7
B. Divorce for illegitimate reasons (v13-16)
1. Explanation
2:13-14; No intimacy with Father; unconfessed sin
2:15 – Abraham remained faithful in spite of Sarah’s barrenness
What is motivating these divorces?
Divorce Jewish wives to marry foreigners. “Grass is greener” – exotic, financial security through foreign alliances.
2. General principles
Can’t address specifics of every relationship that ends in divorce
Bible gives general principles. We must apply them wisely.
• Divorce should always be the very last option a couple chooses because God intended marriage to last a lifetime
• Some marriages cannot be rescued
• God understands that this world is fallen.
o Mt. 19:3-9; Exception clause; “hardness of your hearts”
o Adultery (but reconciliation is still preferable)
o Mt. 19:3; “Any reason” divorces
o 1 Cor. 7:15; abandonment; abuse
o reconciliation is still preferable
• Application:
o If your marriage is struggling or you are considering divorce, get help THIS WEEK
o Pursue reconciliation even if there has been adultery; effort, input, patience
o If you are already divorced…
▪ Divorce doesn’t end God’s love or your usefulness
▪ Pray for and seek reconciliation
II. Why marriage matters
Why does God care so much about our marriages?
Culture does not take it seriously:
One half of all first marriages end in divorce.
Pre-nuptial agreements (expectation that marriage might end in divorce).
Sitcoms that make light of marriage and divorce.
Divorce parties.
Not just unwise – it’s treachery! A person makes a vow to remain faithful in the most important human relationship and then breaks that vow.
1. Because marriage is God’s second most valuable gift to us in this life (Gen 2)
Singles can enjoy intimacy of relationships with fellow worshippers.
No closer relationship than marriage.
2. Because marriage is most important social structure.
More important than local, state or national government. More important than schools. More important than Sunday school, home church groups, neighborhood associations, Rotary club, fraternities and sororities, Association of Former Students.
▪ Defined by God in the beginning. Genesis 2
▪ Destructiveness of mixed-marriages and divorce on children
▪ National Marriage Project at Rutgers University: only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents -- the lowest figure in the Western world.
▪ God can make you a whole and mature person even without a father and mother at home. Single parents can raise healthy children.
▪ Ideal – father and mother love each other for a lifetime; faithful; worshipping God together.
3. Because our marriages affect His church
▪ Mal 2:10 – marital unfaithfulness is treachery to our brothers and sisters in Christ
▪ 1 Cor 12 – one member hurts, all members hurt, and intermarriage and divorce WILL cause hurt!
▪ Contrary to our society’s opinion that marriage is a private affair – it’s not! The quality of my marriage affects your spiritual life.
4. Because our marriages reflect God’s love and faithfulness to the world
▪ Statistics on divorce among evangelicals = atheists and agnostics
▪ Reflects on God’s power in our lives
▪ Reflects on God’s faithfulness to us; He is husband to His people
▪ Eph 5 – reflect Christ’s faithful love to the church
III. Tips for a healthy marriage
These tips apply to all (never married; divorced; struggling in marriage; great marriage)
A. Grow into maturity
If you are complete and mature in Christ:
1. You have a lot to give
2. You can endure a difficult marriage
3. You can overcome temptation
B. Don’t be “unequally yoked”
Hang out with couples whose marriages you admire.
C. Learn to edify
Speak kindly; act like you did when you were pursuing one another
Studies show that one of the best predictors of a marriage that will last is the amount of criticism.
D. For those who are not married: Choose wisely, don’t be in a rush. It’s better to be single and lonely than married and lonely.
Conclusion
Phil. 2 – consider one another as more important than yourself